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‘Oh dear – then pile fresh fruit into him plus plenty of prunes and water. Look, a crisis has arisen. You know how you told me that you’re ever so excited about meeting Kirsty? Well as a big favor could you do her hair early in the morning. Her hair looks OK to me and so do her fingernails, but she says they both are in a mess and I’ve just told her that she’s meeting mum for the first time at 8:00 in the morning. I told her not to worry as mum won’t notice, that mum is just mum.’ ‘Don’t by a prat Merrick. In the first thirty seconds your mother will decide whether or not this woman is right for you.’ ‘The first thirty seconds you say – have you been speaking to Kirsty? Of course, I know you haven’t. It’s just that Kirsty used almost those exact words.’ Mrs Stewart went on and on about the instinctive intelligence of women and their ability to reading bonding signals and to deal with hostilitites. ‘Right, women don’t have to be told, they just know,’ Merrick said agreeably, eager to. Whenever he’s around, he doesn’t put it down ... I don’t know why Andy doesn’t mind - I’ve never actually seen both of them in the same place at the same time. Weird, I know, but I don’t think about it too much ... See, almost immediately after I met Randy, he convinced me to be his sex toy. Every time he wants to take me, no matter where, no matter when, I’m there, ready and waiting ... He’s such a fucking sexy guy. Before I met him, I never would have thought that I’d be interested in the kind of thing he likes, but he quickly turned me around. Sex toys, anal ... whatever he wants, I’ll do it. I’m dedicated to getting him off, and I don’t mind saying: I’m pretty freaking good at it.Like when he mentioned that he wanted to start doing some incest roleplay, he probably expected me to be grossed out, but I just nodded, and immediately started calling myself his “big, sexy sister” whenever we hooked up.(Which was all the time.) I’d honestly thought that I was pushing Randy to his.
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